Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Ethan Changes

Ethan has been experiencing a lot of changes lately . . . especially for a 2 year old.
Kids are resiliant, yes, but they also can feel when things are "different" even if they can't express it.
He really misses his daddy and his brother during this time apart.
He asks me almost constantly where they are.
He will go to the door, unlock and open it to call out their names.
He doesn't have a good concept of time, so he doesn't understand when I say they will be back on the weekend.
He only knows that a few nights a week they are here, but for the majority they are not.
He misses cuddling with daddy before bed.
(Daddy is definitely the better cuddler between the two of us.)
He misses having a playmate in George.
(He is constantly asking me to ride on the toddler "ride em" toys . . . def not happening at 9 months pregnant no matter how much I love my son.)
I try to get him out as much as possible and keep him busy, so he won't think about it.
But again, being so pregnant and having so many things to do in the house for the new baby it just isn't always possible.
The biggest way I can see a change in him is his sleeping.
He seems scared for me to leave him in his room at night.
He has always been a really good sleeper for naps and at night.
Over the past couple weeks he refuses to stay in his crib unless I am in the room with him, waiting for him to fall asleep.
But it isn't only falling asleep . . . He will come into my room in the middle of the night to get in bed with me.
He has to be close to me constantly.
He has always been super independent.
Never cried when I left him in the church nursery.
Never cared when I had my parents or sister watch him.
But now . . . it is a whole different ball game.
I can't help but feel like he has developed abandonment issues and no way to communicate them.
I know this is a season that we all have to experience, but my poor baby.
And to top it all off he is getting a new sister on Friday.
Oh dear . . . I can't even begin to imagine how he will feel then.
I need to do a better job just trusting God to work it all out.
I can't fix this, unfortunately.
I wish I could just give Ethan's confidence back and be done with it.
That isn't the case.
So we grin and bear it the best we can knowing that "this too shall pass."
Hopefully in the next two days before we bring home a brand new baby . . .
That isn't asking too much, is it?

No comments:

Post a Comment