The move

We got a house.

  A house that far exceeded any and all expectations.   Isn't that just like God?   This morning at church the sermon was on Romans 8:28.   "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose."   What a verse!   What a promise!   I love God - therefore He is working on my behalf to use all the things in my life for my good.   Not my ruin.   My good.   And if our living situation isn't proof of that then I don't know what is.  

    There we were on the farm.   Living day by day in quite small quarters.   Hoping and praying for a place.   We started looking at apartments because we knew we had to rent.   We still own our house in Largo that my sister is renting from us, so buying here is out.   Our budget was low, and the things we found were not in the greatest areas or just not containing the things we needed for the kids.   I had started going to a Bible study in January at the church we are attending.   I was sharing in my group about our situation and asking for prayer.   A lady in the group has a daughter in my husband's class, and she began telling me that they were trying to sell their house.   They built it ten years ago and had four kids since then, so they wanted to upsize a bit.   They had actually already bought something new and were moved in, so they were looking to sell quick.   I told her we weren't in a position to buy, but would they be willing to rent.   She said she would talk to her husband because they already had it on the market to sell.   Once she got back to me she said he was totally willing to rent.   We came over to check the place out asap, and it was more than perfect.   Four bedrooms, an area for a playroom, two walk-in closets in the master (Tim is so glad he doesn't have to share with me), a great back porch . . . the list goes on and on.  

 

 

 

    We moved in as quick as we could.   The real twist is that we will be moving again in a year.   That is another story for another day, but I have already told my husband that I wish I could pick this house up and take it with us.   It is that perfect for us.   It isn't a mansion or anything, but it is such a great fit for our little family of 5.   We are so comfortable.  

    And after a year of cramming and never having enough space, it is nice to spread out.   God is taking care of us.   I need to remember this truth next year around this time when we will be on the search again.  

Grace for today

Since moving to Fort Myers and having Lexi I have felt a little out of it. Like I can't get a handle on everything. Like I am so tired I can't think straight. Like I am going through the motions of being a mom, but not really "being" anything at all. Like I don't know where we are going in life. Like I need some direction and purpose. Like my goals are never gonna happen. Some days are better than others, but for the most part I feel a little stuck.

This time last year I was enhancing (for lack of a better word) my life in so many ways. I was about to turn 30, but I was proud of who I had become and the things I was doing. (I guess that was my first mistake . . . pride comes before the fall, huh?) I was in graduate school and absolutely loving it. I loved learning about education, and I loved having adult time in the evenings after being with the kids all day. I was tutoring struggling kids twice a week. I was attending multiple Bible studies and really feasting on the Word of God. I was getting to spend a lot of time with Ethan and George because George only had half days of school. I was the one who drove him to and from every single day. I was sleeping through the night because both my kids had their own rooms to sleep in and slept well. I was watching tv in my living room every night . . . which I can't ever do after 8:30 here in the one bedroom because it doubles as the boys bedroom. I had friends that knew me and wanted to hang out. Then . . . 

I found out I was pregnant, Tim got the job in Fort Myers, and we moved our whole family to a one bedroom apartment.

And life got different - very different.

I didn't have grad school and adult conversation at night.

Instead I have a baby who is totally precious, but I have to wake up and nurse at night.

I have a 2 year old who won't stay in his bed at night, and we can't let him "cry it out" because his five year old brother is in the same room and has to get up for school the next morning.

(hello run-on sentence)

I didn't have any Bible studies (although I did start one last week that I am loving).

I didn't have any friends here.

I had no where to go to get out during the day.

I barely see my firstborn because he goes to school all day and rides with daddy to and from.

Life just got simple.

Real quick.

And I had to make a decision to go with the flow or get bitter.

I have been dealing with these feelings more lately because I am finally able to come to terms with them on some level.

Tim got some not so great news about his job this week, and I think that is what spurred me to write out all these thoughts.

We don't even know if we are staying here.

We could have to do this all over again somewhere new next year.

We are basically nomads which is something I never thought I would be.

I want stability for my family.

I want people who really know us.

I want a house with bedrooms I can lock my kids in.

(just kidding . . . kind of)

I want . . . I want . . . I want . . . (you fill in the blank).

But the conclusion the Lord just keeps bringing me back to is "GRACE FOR TODAY."

I only need what He is giving me right now.

Worrying about tomorrow or next month or next year is worthless.

God knows where we will be.

He will give me friends.

He will help me get involved where He wants me involved.

He will take care of me and my family.

When I feel like I can't last another day with no sleep . . . 

When I feel like I am buried in dishes and spit-up . . . 

When I feel like I need some adult interaction . . . 

When I feel like I can't change one more diaper . . . 

I just have to rely on His grace for today.

Cause it is there.

If I would just stop complaining and start recognizing.

(I realize the pictures have nothing to do with this post, but I figured you would like something adorable to look at while reading all this rambling).

Wise Man

George was in our church Christmas program last Sunday. To say it was cute would be the understatement of the year. He was a wise man in the nativity portion. I have never seen a better looking wise man in all my life.And I am not being partial or anything. 

The program was called The Mystery of the Manger.

I really thought the message was loud and clear, especially for a children's program.

All the kids did a great job, and the directors were excellent.

Here are a few more pictures from the production.

We only took a few hundred.  We didn't want to over do it.

He wore jeans and a Christmas shirt for the first half, and then did a costume change for the second half.

I love that he is old enough to participate in these types of things.

It is so wonderful to watch him be a part of spreading the gospel.

I pray all my kids have a hunger for the Lord from a young age and truly enjoy doing His work.

The Holiday Season 2011

One of my goals this holiday season has been to concentrate more on the little moments that come in between the hustle and bustle.   These are the memories I want forever stored in my brain. 

 I get so busy during the holidays (and I know I am not the only one). Just this week we have a Bible study Christmas tea, a party to make reindeer shirts at George's preschool where I am a helper, a youth group (where Tim serves on Wednesday nights) Christmas party, our church married group Christmas party, George's church Christmas program dress rehearsal and actual program, George's school Christmas program, and a women's craft exchange party.  Just typing that out makes me tired. And it isn't that I don't enjoy all those things, because I absolutely do. I just don't want to miss out on the little things when our calendar is full of so many big things. I want to savor the moments that we have our little family all together just hanging around the house in our pajamas. Those are my favorite moments of the holidays. That is where I see the most Jesus in my life. He has given me so many blessings. First and foremost being this little family that I call my own. These boys that are so special and have shown me more love than I could have ever imagined. They have taught me so much. Let the holiday season of 2011 be one of little moments for you too. It makes all the difference. Trust me.

Inspiration Workshop - Thanksgiving

I am linking up with Gussy for her "Inspiration Workshop" this week. Her prompt this week was Thanksgiving . . . how appropriate. We began an annual tradition last year of having Thanksgiving at our house. We moved into our first house last July, so we wanted to invite everyone who has opened their homes to us so many times before to come and enjoy our hospitality. The house isn't big, but it is a pretty good use of space. We had 16 people last year, and we will have around 24 this year. I guess people feel comfortable at our abode, because the number keeps growing. Here is a picture review of last year's festivities.  We expect much of the same this year. The little boys made turkey cupcakes.

I got shirts made for my two babies, and they were so adorable.

Tim fried a turkey for the first time.  It was delicious, as evidenced here by my sister's hungry expression.

For every holiday I can remember growing up, we always had a "kids" table and an "adult" table.

We seem to be subconsciously carrying on the same tradition.

I don't quite know how I am still sitting at the "kids" table with two kids of my own.

And the "adult" table from last year.

There is nothing quite like food and family together.

I am so thankful for all the people in my life that the Lord has blessed me with.

I don't say that flippantly because I know so many who have never felt even a fraction of the love I feel everyday.

I truly want this Thanksgiving season to be a time where I reflect on all the blessings God has given me.

He is so good, and I am so undeserving.



What the Dinosaur Taught Me

Today I want to talk about fear.

 It is not a very fun subject, but I have been thinking about it a lot lately. Or rather . . . maybe God has been bringing it to my mind lately. This weekend we went to Disney World for Epcot's food and wine festival.(I will have a full update post later in the week). While we were there we spent a day at Animal Kingdom.They have a ride there called "Dinosaur." It is a pretty intense ride that is very dark and twisty. George went on this ride in September when we were there with Tim's sister's family.  All his cousins rode it with him, and he didn't really seem scared at all. He told us he wanted to ride it again this weekend, so I took him while Tim took Ethan to a playground somewhere else in the park. While we were on the ride, George grabbed my leg a few times, but he didn't scream or cry or give any real inclinations that he was super scared. After it was over I asked him if he liked it and he nodded his head "yes."  There was a short line, so we decided to ride again before meeting up with Daddy and brother. While we were in line the second time, he started getting squeamish and said he didn't want to ride with me again.  He wanted his daddy to go with him this time. We found Tim, and he took him back to the entrance to ride. About ten minutes later Tim and George appeared in front of me.  I asked how they liked the ride, and Tim said George chickened out.   He decided he didn't want to ride again. I was sort of taken aback by the fact that he didn't want to ride something he had already experienced twice before.  Why would he be afraid of something he had already come through? Doesn't that sound backward? Shouldn't we be scared of the unknown, not the known? But aren't we like that too? Sometimes after I experince something I am more scared I will have to experience it again. Before it happens I can live in ignorance on the subject. After it happens, I have to face the facts that it was hard, and it was ugly. I can think of so many instances of this in my life. For example, Childbirth - George's delivery was not pretty.  I was definitely more scared for Ethan's. As I began thinking through these different scenarios, I wondered if this is God's design or our manipulation. I truly don't think God wants us to fear circumstances.  Ever. Especially after He brings us through them. We should breath a sigh of relief after He carries us through the storm. Sometimes we feel like we could never live through _____________.  (You fill in the blank because we all have them). If we go through something we don't think we could ever make it through, we have seen the distinct evidence of God's grace in carrying us through.  That is something to be cherished, not fearful of. His arms are our strength and confidence. He can bring us through anything.   Anything.   Even the things we don't think we could ever handle.   Especially not the second time around. 

The Results Are In . . .

Long process . . . but the results are finally in. The cyst was just that . . . a benign cyst.  No suspicious legions or cells.  Great news, praise God! The process of getting the results on the other hand was not so great. The doctor told us on Tuesday after the surgery that we would get the biopsy results on Thursday. I called his office on Thursday afternoon and there were no results. I called again today, and they said the results had just come in.  The doctor had already left for the day, so they could not tell me anything until he read the report. Are you kidding me?  The nurse went on to say they would call me first thing Monday morning. I would have had to wait almost an entire week to get these incredibly sensitive results.   That is torture for a mother. Anyways, I can't reveal my ways . . . but I did get the results today:) And the results were good.  That is all that really matters.  I once again have a healthy 4 year old.  There is nothing that puts things into perspective like a health scare.  Especially one that involves your kids. Thanks again for the prayers.  We are so appreciative and don't take one for granted.

Surgery Update

Well, it is noon and all over.   Ya, it was short and sweet, which is just what we were going for. We had to be at the hospital at 6:45 am, and we were home by 11. George did great, and the surgery went well. The doctor said it was indeed a cyst, but he was not too worried about it after looking at the inside.  He does have to biopsy it, and we will get the results by Thursday.  He did say not to lose sleep over it, though, so I feel pretty good. Here are our pictures from the day: 

Cuddles before surgery.  

First after surgery popsicle.

Self-explanatory.

And this is how we left the hospital.  Bettelli style.

I am still sticking to my belief that God is in control . . . good or bad.  If our news would have been different, which it is in many other cases, He would still be in control.  Still on His throne.  Still faithful and good. Thanks for the prayers.  Keep praying for the recovery.

A Good Read

Want a good read this week? What Women Fear is a really good one. 

 I know I do a weekly book club post on the blog, but I will probably be using mostly fiction for that.  This book is not fiction.  It is written by a woman named Angie Smith, and wouldn't you know it . . . it is about the things women fear. I heard her speak at a "Women of Faith" conference a few weeks ago.She was excellent and super down to earth, which was my favorite thing about her. I won't go into her story on here, but you can catch up on her blog, Bring the Rain. She is a mommy and a writer and a speaker and a blogger, but she still seems totally relatable to me. I have only gotten through 2 chapters so far, but the subjects were "the fear of 'what-if'" and "the fear of betrayal."  Um, yes please.  And thank you very much. I also would encourage you to watch the book club discussion on this website.  Angie and some of her friends chat about the chapter.  She picks people who can really relate to the specific fear being talked about, so it brings a whole new dimension to the book. I will probably be writing about it more in the future as I digest all the rich material and see myself on the pages.  It is scary yet eye-opening at the same time. Just read the book and tell me what you think.  The End.

Women of Faith

Sorry to all the faithful readers out there (Laurie, ahem).  I did not get a chance to read this week. Both my babies got some horrible virus, so I was at their beck and call every. single. minute.I loved the extra cuddles, but I am so glad to be back to healthy in our household. Please forgive me.  I promise to be back with my book update next week.  We will catch up on chapters 10- 12 then. I did do something super fun this weekend, though. My uber-awesome friend, Nicole got me an early Christmas present.  She bought us tickets to attend the "Women of Faith" conference in Tampa. It. was. incredible. Basically, it is an intense time of worship and testimonies. For two straight days we got to hear about God showing up in some amazing women's lives. I was absolutely in awe of their honesty and rawness with us.  They had never met these people in the audience, but yet they poured their heart out to help in any way they could.  They desired for their testimonies to help women who felt like they had nothing left to live for.  We have all been there at some point in our lives, and how refreshing to know we aren't alone. I learned so many things and really felt God's presence all weekend long. It was so special to get away from everyday life and just concentrate on God's love and overwhelming peace through our struggles in life.  What a marvelous message. 

 If you ever have a chance to go to one of these, please take the opportunity.We are going next year in Orlando on October 12th and 13th. You can join us if you would like. And PS:  I would like to take this opportunity to thank my sister and husband who held down the fort and kept my kids alive while I was gone:)  Love you both! And PPS:  Today is my little bro's birthday, so he will get a post this week.  Happy Birthday, Pete.  Love you old man. 

Why is God Fluddering the Earth Again?

Linking up with "From the Aisle to Aloha."

This is a little thing that really brought so much joy to my week.

I won't lie, it has been a rough one, but my two boys really keep things in perspective. I want to hold on to each fleeting moment.  The good, the bad, and the ugly . . . because with them there is always greatness. God really shows up in my boys.  He uses them everyday to teach me so many things. Now, on to our story . . .  

 George must be learning about rainbows and God flooding the Earth in Sunday school because it has been a constant stream of questions and discussions over the last few days. He keeps asking me what a rainbow means? And who got to go in the ark? And why did God fludder (aka flood) the Earth? And why were the people making bad decisions? We have tried to explain the story to him a number of times, but when he gets something in his head that he can't quite grasp he does not let it go.  He wants all the answers, and I mean all of them. 

 So . . . tonight we went to a high school football game, and as we were leaving it began to rain. It started out as a trickle, but by the time we got to the car it was a downpour. We got into the car as fast as we could and were thankful we didn't get totally soaked. George proceeded to ask, "Mom, why is God fluddering the Earth again?" How would you answer that question? 

(All photography done by the lovely Teale Dvornik.)

When God Stays The Same

Well, we have some news around here in the Bettelli house.  It isn't necessarily "good" news, but it is already teaching me some things.  Big things, in my opinion. George (the 4 yr. old) had an appointment with an ear, nose, and throat specialist yesterday.Our pediatrician found that his tonsils were enlarged when he had his four year old check-up. She didn't seem too concerned, but told me to make an appointment with the ENT just to hear what his expert opinion was. We got that expert opinion yesterday, and it totally threw me for a loop. Before we went I was contemplating how I was going to reason with the doctor that we did not want our son to have surgery.  I am not against surgery in all situations, but I do believe that doctors push surgery in some situations to make money.  C-sections and tonsilectomies seem to be at the top of that list from my experience.  So I was ready to give all sorts of reasons why this was not a good option for my boy.  Anyways, when the Physician's Assistant came in she checked his throat and said the dreaded "C" word.  As in cancer.  As in there is a possibility my son has cancer. I was not prepared for this.  At all. When the doctor came in he confirmed the chance that cancer could be there. George has one severely enlarged tonsil.  When both are enlarged then there is an infection, but when only one is enlarged it can be two scenarios.  The first (and worst) is cancer.  The second is an encapsulated bacteria.  According to this doc George has one of these two things. The cancer option is a lot less likely, but he went on to tell us about a family who was in the same situation and decided not to have the surgery.  Their child died within twelve months.  We could talk to that family if we want.  Um, no thanks. Obviously, while in the office I was in shock.  I had Ethan with me as well, so I was trying to keep him quiet and think about all the things I wanted to ask at the same time.  I also didn't want to freak George out because he is extremely perceptive and picks up on my emotions extremely quickly.   As we left I began thinking (wow, profound, I know).  I thought about all the worst case scenarios.  I thought about the fact that God is sovereign.  Which doesn't mean that the best case scenario in our mind always works out. This whole process has me meditating on the fact that God's ways are not our ways. We don't want George to have surgery, let alone the possibility of this horrible disease that takes lives. We don't want to have to put our four year old under anesthesia. We don't want to have to sit in a waiting room not knowing what the doctor will say when he walks out. We don't want to wait for biopsy reports. We don't want to do a lot of things. But God allows these things to happen to bring Him glory and to show us grace. I have learned in my short life that I can't put stock in what humans say they "know."  We know nothing. I know that this ENT may think it isn't cancer, but it very well could be. I know that the doctor could have told me he was 100 percent sure it was cancer, and then it might not be. I know that God controls this situation.  Not me.  Not George.  Not the ENT. God alone.

The Little Things . . .

Hi Friends,Today I am linking up at "From the Aisle to Aloha."  Is that a cute blog title or what?Anyways, she hosts a little link-up party on Fridays about the little things that got us through our week.

Think of it as a new spin on "Friday Favorites."  These are favorites that actually mean something.  How about them apples?

So . . . this is my first installment of my little things that help me cope in the midst of this crazy life.

1.  CBS Bible study:

On Wednesday mornings I go to a Community Bible Study. 

We are studying First Peter right now, and WOW . . . I. am. learning. a. lot. 

We have only been studying for five weeks, but topics like - how to be a servant, how to submit to leadership, how to truly love your brother, why we suffer, how to deal with suffering . . . have been a part of the discussion. 

Are you kidding me?  Talk about hitting you right between the eyes.  God is speaking.  And I am listening.

It definitely helps me get through my week.

2.  The Husband.

I don't talk a whole lot about my husband on the blog, and I don't really know why.

Maybe because my kids take up so much of my brain space that it is difficult to think about much else on a daily basis.

I know that is so backward, and I need to work harder at giving my husband more of my time and brain power.

But back to him . . . He is wonderful.

I caught a cold this week, and with my lifestyle colds just don't fit.  I am too busy to take a day off, so I have to push through. 

Last night before I fell asleep Tim was so sweet to ask me how I was feeling and to let him know if I had a fever or felt terrible.  I am not really sure what he was going to do about it, but he knew that I would feel love just from the asking. 

He is super sweet, even when I am not. What a guy.

3.  Pumpkin cookies.

I don't really have to explain a whole lot with this one.

These are the best cookies ever. period.

I got the recipe from one of Peter (my brother)'s old girlfriend's mom.  They are simply the best piece of a pumpkin baked good to ever grace these lips . . . or anyone else's for that matter.

So . . . what little things have helped you get through your week?  This little exercise was F. U. N.

One Thousand Gifts - Chapter 10

As we wind down on this book, I want to reiterate the fact that I have really bought into this idea of giving thanks for every blessing. That is the way to have true joy. I believe this is the one thing Ann would want us to take away from her book.

If you missed my reflections on all the previous chapters, go on over to the side bar and click on "books" or "faith." I have done a reflection on each chapter that I would love for you to read.

I am thinking about doing some sort of book study on Sundays from here on out. If anyone wants to join me I would love it! They won't always be Christian books. I love fiction too, so we can read anything and everything. I believe I have two more chapters in this book, and then I will pick a new one that you can read along side me. Doesn't that sound like fun?

Ok. Now on to Chapter 10. I really liked this chapter. It was all about passing on the blessing to others. She talked a lot about the way Jesus (even in his toughest times) always blessed others. The night before he was crucified He washed His disciples' feet. He was going through so much, but He chose to bless them instead of thinking of Himself. I want that outlook.

On page 193, she has two quotes that really stuck out to me. "That thanks-giving might literally become thanks-living." I love that concept. I want my life to reflect thanks at all times. She goes on to say, "My heart can enter into communion anywhere and anywhere my hands can enact the Eucharist." I can be giving thanks in any situation, and my hands can be acting on that thanks in any situation. What a concept? A concept I totally want to adopt in my own life.

Again, this idea of pouring out blessings on others is not a new one. Jesus was our model. We need to be like Him. I want to bless others. I know it always makes me more thankful.

The list goes on . . .
81. Labor Day - no work for daddy
82. First day of school for the big boy
83. Swimming play date
84. A baby who doesn't cry when dunked underwater
85. Grandparents who love to keep kids overnight:)
86. Reading a good book
87. The library
88. A husband who helps around the house
89. A husband who looks good in a suit
90. Waking up to a back rub

One Thousand Gifts - Chapter 9

Almost to the end of this book . . . I am a little sad but ready at the same time. It is some deep stuff.

A lot of this chapter was about recognizing how much God wants us to have a childlike faith. On page 167 she says, "That all wonder and worship can only grow out of smallness." She is talking about the ways her small children see the world. Everything seems to be full of wonder. We should always feel that way about God. He is magnificent and wonderous. We need to feel small to understand how large he is. We would want to worship even more if we were continuously reminded of our size compared to his.

On page 175 Ann says, "God holds us in the untamed moments too." Can I get an amen? Not to sound like a southern preacher, but man, that hit home. What a confort to know that God is still holding me, even when I am going crazy. I tend to get crazy a lot, so I need this reminder to give thanks for His constant strength and security.

The List . . .
71. Spontaneous trip to see a best friend
72. Baby's shoes
73. Quiet time in the afternoon
74. A big car
75. Bright blue toe-nails
76. My hair straightener
77. Making it through my first week of graduate school
78. The promise of all I will learn
79. Friends who are pregnant
80. Kisses from my big boy