Well, we have some news around here in the Bettelli house. It isn't necessarily "good" news, but it is already teaching me some things. Big things, in my opinion.
George (the 4 yr. old) had an appointment with an ear, nose, and throat specialist yesterday.
Our pediatrician found that his tonsils were enlarged when he had his four year old check-up.
She didn't seem too concerned, but told me to make an appointment with the ENT just to hear what his expert opinion was.
We got that expert opinion yesterday, and it totally threw me for a loop.
Before we went I was contemplating how I was going to reason with the doctor that we did not want our son to have surgery.
I am not against surgery in all situations, but I do believe that doctors push surgery in some situations to make money. C-sections and tonsilectomies seem to be at the top of that list from my experience. So I was ready to give all sorts of reasons why this was not a good option for my boy.
Anyways, when the Physician's Assistant came in she checked his throat and said the dreaded "C" word. As in cancer. As in there is a possibility my son has cancer.
I was not prepared for this. At all.
When the doctor came in he confirmed the chance that cancer could be there.
George has one severely enlarged tonsil. When both are enlarged then there is an infection, but when only one is enlarged it can be two scenarios. The first (and worst) is cancer. The second is an encapsulated bacteria. According to this doc George has one of these two things.
The cancer option is a lot less likely, but he went on to tell us about a family who was in the same situation and decided not to have the surgery. Their child died within twelve months. We could talk to that family if we want. Um, no thanks.
Obviously, while in the office I was in shock. I had Ethan with me as well, so I was trying to keep him quiet and think about all the things I wanted to ask at the same time. I also didn't want to freak George out because he is extremely perceptive and picks up on my emotions extremely quickly.
As we left I began thinking (wow, profound, I know). I thought about all the worst case scenarios. I thought about the fact that God is sovereign. Which doesn't mean that the best case scenario in our mind always works out.
This whole process has me meditating on the fact that God's ways are not our ways.
We don't want George to have surgery, let alone the possibility of this horrible disease that takes lives.
We don't want to have to put our four year old under anesthesia.
We don't want to have to sit in a waiting room not knowing what the doctor will say when he walks out.
We don't want to wait for biopsy reports.
We don't want to do a lot of things.
But God allows these things to happen to bring Him glory and to show us grace.
I have learned in my short life that I can't put stock in what humans say they "know." We know nothing.
I know that this ENT may think it isn't cancer, but it very well could be.
I know that the doctor could have told me he was 100 percent sure it was cancer, and then it might not be.
I know that God controls this situation. Not me. Not George. Not the ENT.